So I am watching The Biggest Loser. I have never watched it before. This year I am doing my own Biggest Loser challenge. Just listening to these people made me cry. It is so scary how I can relate.
I wasn't born over weight it happened about the time I had Riley at age 35. I wasn't working and then we had a lot of financial problems. My dad had passed away so I was taking care of my own children and my mom. Food took the place of my dad. Yes, I finally said it. My dad would call me every day and always gave me honest positive advice. Once he was gone I felt alone. Randy was away driving truck and Kayla was too young. My mom was so consumed with her own grief she didn't see what was happening to me. I turned to food.
Then I decided to quit my job I had worked at for 16 years and be a stay at home mom. I immediately found out I was pregnant after trying for 6 years. I was so excited. I felt it was a sign from my dad that life goes on.
It also became my ticket to eat what ever I wanted. Once I had Riley the weight didn't come off. That has been about 12 years. I hate it; hate myself. Hate it. Words can not even explain.
In this blog I will try and express my feelings. What I have dealt with. I started on 1/2/10 a new lifestyle. I am going to save my life. It is all about me. It isn't about Randy, Kayla or Riley. It is about Pam. I am sure along the way the 3 people I love the most may get hurt at times as I get stronger. I don't mean to but I can't live like this anymore.
I wasn't born over weight it happened about the time I had Riley at age 35. I wasn't working and then we had a lot of financial problems. My dad had passed away so I was taking care of my own children and my mom. Food took the place of my dad. Yes, I finally said it. My dad would call me every day and always gave me honest positive advice. Once he was gone I felt alone. Randy was away driving truck and Kayla was too young. My mom was so consumed with her own grief she didn't see what was happening to me. I turned to food.
Then I decided to quit my job I had worked at for 16 years and be a stay at home mom. I immediately found out I was pregnant after trying for 6 years. I was so excited. I felt it was a sign from my dad that life goes on.
It also became my ticket to eat what ever I wanted. Once I had Riley the weight didn't come off. That has been about 12 years. I hate it; hate myself. Hate it. Words can not even explain.
In this blog I will try and express my feelings. What I have dealt with. I started on 1/2/10 a new lifestyle. I am going to save my life. It is all about me. It isn't about Randy, Kayla or Riley. It is about Pam. I am sure along the way the 3 people I love the most may get hurt at times as I get stronger. I don't mean to but I can't live like this anymore.
